Joan Rivers passed away yesterday. On top of being a comedian for 55 years, she wrote 12 books, hosted 6 TV shows, wrote 5 plays and dealt with her husband's suicide. So if she had a plastic face, it was only to bounce all of life's B.S. off of it.
Twitter Academy
The NYPD is sending its top brass to Twitter classes figuring they can save time if they can conduct stop and frisks in 140 characters or less.
F*ck You
Cee Lo deleted his twitter account after saying unconscious people can give consent. Thankfully, he already wrote a song that sums up how we feel about him.
The Cloud
Hundreds of nude photos were leaked from Apple's iCloud system over the weekend. Which should cause you to think twice about getting your parents that iPad for Christmas.
The Real Jungle Book
An Indian woman fought off and killed a leopard with nothing but farm tools causing Disney to add a new much darker verse to The Jungle Book song "Bare Necessities".
Give Peace A Chance
There's a major tiff in video gaming circles in how gamers treat game developers. It turns out headshots and fatalities don't attract the Ghandi's of the world.
Sasha Fierce Marriage Counseling
Beyonce silenced divorce rumors with her performance at the VMAs, showing that all your parents needed to stay together was tight choreography.
Clean up After Yourself
George Bush nominated Bill Clinton for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Bush would've nominated President Obama but he’d just be causing another mess that Obama would have to clean up.
Great Company
For the first time in their 48 year history, Amnesty International is sending a delegation to the US to Ferguson, MO. We’ve now officially been added to the list of countries that don’t have their shit together.
Social Media Campaign Gone Wrong
The canisters of tear gas used in Ferguson have the name and phone number of the company that makes them. A weapons manufacturer is showing more transparency than the police officers using their product.
Selfies For Peace
With state troopers in charge, protesters in Ferguson MO are now taking selfies with law enforcement; showing that in the 21st century, the smartphone is mightier than the sword.
#firstworldproblem
The people of Gaza are giving the people of Ferguson, MO advice on how to deal with tear gas. Because apparently dealing with armored cars in your street is now a #firstworldproblem
Really Hard Algebra Problem
Michael Brown was shot and killed while running away but Trayvon Martin was shot and killed for being too close, which makes it really hard for black men to know what distance we’re supposed to keep.
R.I.P. Genie
Robin Williams passed away yesterday. No Joke today. I'm just reminded of watching Jumanji and Hook every summer at Camp and I'm queueing up Aladdin when I get home.
A lot of people are sharing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number (800-273-8255). But if you can remember only one thing in your time of need, please let it be "It's not your fault".
Meta
Everyone on social media is dumping ice on themselves to raise awareness for ALS. We’re soon going to need a campaign to raise money for pneumonia.
Million Dollar Idea
Yelp is being sued for forcing small businesses to pay to hide bad reviews. Meanwhile, comedians would kill for a service that would hide their bad jokes.
Origin of Things
A Taco Bell manager fired a store owner for hiring Mexican workers, showing a fundamental misunderstanding of where tacos came from.
Worth Dying For?
A man in Georgia violently attacked his roommate after finding out she ate 3 of his Chips Ahoy cookies. Investigators were afraid to ask what would he do for a Klondike bar.
Poor Lassie
There’s a company that will let you send your pet’s remains into space. Now parents can send your dog to a “farm” really really upstate.
Taste the Rainbow
A Spanish scientist created ice cream that changes colors as you eat it. It’s like a mood ring for diabetes.